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[17 Jul 2006|12:17pm] |
Aiyyo !! I meet bitches, discrete bitches
Street bitches, slash, Cocoa Puff sweet bitches
Make you wanna eat bitches, but not me
Y'all niggaz eat off the plate all you want but not B
I fuck with these hoes from a distance
The instant they start to catch feelings
I start to stealin they shit
then I'm out just like a thief in the night
I sink my teeth in to bite
You thinkin life, I'm thinkin more like - whassup tonight?
damn, i need a vac.
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[31 Mar 2006|03:26pm] |
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mood |
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 excited |
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I have cramps..
.. this makes me happy
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| Awww Nisa Loren <3 |
[23 Oct 2005|01:16am] |
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mood |
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 loved |
] |
| [ |
music |
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From Autum to Ashes |
] |
Neon X Sex: the thing is i fucking cant tell anyone anything
Neon X Sex: look at me
Mystariah: well i look at you, and what you have told me, how you have been and how you are now, it is really something to look up to, before medicine, so you are someone to look up to you're all happy jumpy and dont give a fuck what everyone else thinks and i admire that from you :-)
Neon X Sex: awwwww
Neon X Sex: your so fucking cute
Mystariah: yes, yes i know
Mystariah: but its true
Neon X Sex: ha.. but im not even like that all the time and it sucks that i cant tell people things will get better when i dont even feel that way about my own life
Mystariah: i know what you mean, but you are someone that is strong and smart and hey, everyone has really shitty times, and depression just gets all the good people, i mean i just wish i could show you how and what you mean to me now
Mystariah: when i feel like getting depressed i think of you and how you say fuck you to the world
Mystariah: i love it
Neon X Sex: awwww im gunna cry
Mystariah: :O
Neon X Sex: your so fucking amazing
Mystariah: no, you are:-) my hero
Mystariah: haha
Neon X Sex: haha
Mystariah: if i would of knew years ago that there was someone like you out there
Mystariah: i wouldnt of been depressed
Mystariah: i used to think everyone was the same, everyone would never get me everyone would be all happy and i would always be in the dark
Neon X Sex: and i came along and your life is full of sunshine?
Mystariah: yes because of your aura ;-) lol
Neon X Sex: lol hahahahha
Neon X Sex: omg im so lame
^ This girl is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.
I love you Nisa Loren Hamood. your my hero <3 !!!
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| loooosing feeeeeling? |
[28 Sep 2005|03:56pm] |
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mood |
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 accomplished |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Linkin Park |
] |
I sit, staring, trying to comprehend how I let myself get this bad.
Im horrible.
Im morbid.
Im alone.
Overworked, underpaid.
Overlooked, and unwanted.
Ive been so numb, that a wish to feel the ache of my heart trying to beat life back into me, existed everyday.
I try to make up for lost feeling, lost time, lost love, lost everything, by attempting to drain the imperfections, the negativity, out of my body, but along with it all comes the very life force that keeps me alive, the substace I wish so badly my heart would pump harder into me, my very own blood.
I suppose asking why anyone would want to hurt themselves is a perfectly logical question.. but to the sick bastards like me theres obviously no logic behind it at all.
... to me, to us, it makes perfect sense- not to our hearts, not to our poor racked and overworked minds, but to our bodies, I guess after awhile our needy bodies are to blame.
Dont get me wrong, and im sure those other people just like me know that not even a million mirrors worth of broken glass can mend a broken heart, but if watching yourself bleed doesnt waken you or even distract you.... what will?
-Savor the moments-
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| Dreams |
[20 Sep 2005|12:16pm] |
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mood |
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 amused |
] |
Ive beem having CRAZY dreams lately.. the other night i had a dream that i had an asian baby!!! LOL.. and there was no father in sight, and for some reason i didnt care.. or really even notice. ha. (i couldnt possibly have an asian baby without an asian lover) lol
then last night i had a dream that Richard Ramirez sent me cocaine (through the mail i guess) and i snorted it??? LOL
then i think i was writing him a letter while i was doin some more coke!! haha
k i just felt like telling everyone.
(im nuts, i know)
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| Doooooooodie <3 <3 <3 |
[08 Aug 2005|10:00pm] |
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mood |
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happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Lene- Bite you |
] |
I called off work for the first time ever today.. i decided i didnt want to go in.. and since they told me at the last min yesterday to show up.. i said fuck it!.
so instead i went to doodies for the whole fucking day.be jealous bitch! i just got back awhile ago, we didnt do mucb but sit at his house but it was awesome.. <3
"mmm.. i like the way you swing it" LMFAO..
god hes amazing.
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[02 Aug 2005|11:01am] |
Part Expert Kisser |
You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity
You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off
And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave
When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable | Part Passionate Kisser |
For you, kissing is about all about following your urges
If someone's hot, you'll go in for the kiss - end of story
You can keep any relationship hot with your steamy kisses
A total spark plug - your kisses are bound to get you in trouble |
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| I can cry on your command.. |
[23 May 2005|01:29pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 creative |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Dir en Grey |
] |
I broke down and cut today.. i needed it. I've been thinking about you know who.. i miss that kid.
Anyway:
I decided to paint a pretty picture.. i thought it was a cool idea, and when i started it was a good picture.. but i got sloppy towards the end and it looks all crappy..lol
----TRIGGERING----
( Read more... )
X-POSTED
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| BLOW ME BITCH - haha |
[27 Apr 2005|07:10pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 determined |
] |
| [ |
music |
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VIVA LA RAZA |
] |
I feel pity on some people. sometimes if i have a relationship with them.. or im involved with them somehow, I get really pissed off at the fact that they are utterly and almost unbelievably stupid and fucked up upstairs. But when i dont exactly know or care about the person i still feel pity on them.. i actually think to myself "wow, im glad im smarter than that, id hate to be like that person"
But shouldnt i feel that way about everyone?...why should i only feel angry at the fact that people make the same mistakes over and over and over and over again just because i know them?.. why the hell should it be differnt? i know alot of people that have been in this situation... but no one should be, people have to make their own decisions, if you give them advice and the dont listen.. fuck em'.
and thats exactly what im gunna do from now on. i wouldnt come to me for advice anymore unless your going to take and USE it. K?
anyway.. im soposed to hang out with my cindi poo again soon, so im super excited. i love that girl.
I guess theres not much else. my life hasnt exactly been going excellent but its pretty good. and i feel awesome.. even though theres not a magic button to push when you want someone to fall of the face of the planet.. because that would change everything.. id be purrrrrr-fect (^_^)
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[25 Apr 2005|01:48pm] |
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mood |
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hopeful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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umm the tv |
] |
New layout.. its not finished yet but i dont feel like fixing it now.
School is going excellent.. well, we'll see when my teacher gets here but i know im doing better because ive been working my ass off.. can i get a high five?? wooot woot
my family lifes ok i guess.. my little nephews party was saturday.. and i helped out all day (and they appreciated it, unlike alot of people i know)anyway, it was fun, my little snookems is getting so big. ha.
hmmm what else.. i dont have much of a social life as usual.. but i could really care less.. i feel good and thats all that matters..
no love life as usual.. circumstances in my life involving love arent good right now.. but im not gunna get into it, all i know is that i have alot of love to give someone one day (maybe sometime soon) and ill be ready for it, hopefully ill get the same love back though.... AND i hope that if some cool guy comes along i wont be fucking scared and tell him NO.. (thats happend FAR to many times in my life).
im gunna go.. im sure no one wants to hear anymore of my love issues.. lol
lates!! oxoxx
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[19 Apr 2005|03:27pm] |
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mood |
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 aggravated |
] |
I was soposed to tell Jessica that she puts extra whipped cream on my mocha every morning.. but thats not going to happen.. I'm done.
Im glad im seeing Boy today because if i wasnt this whole day would be shot.
oh well.. who gives a fuck about me right?
its COOL to fuck Brandi over.
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| blow me |
[17 Apr 2005|09:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 lonely |
] |
| [ |
music |
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None |
] |
Yesterday- Was bad..I woke up feeling really good, i wasnt tired or anything.. then things got all stupid.. Jessica was gunna come see me, and i had to tell her no cuz im a dumbass.. then Jill was soposed to bring the kids over, but didnt, i guess her and my mom dont like eachother.. again? Anyway, it was generally a pretty bad day but i felt good so i took advantage of it.
then today i woke up early.. then got ready, called cindi.. woke her lazy ass up, then awhile after that we went to Mt. Clemens and got Miss Hemme's autograph .. she was nice =).. then we just walked around for awhile, then we came back to Taylor, then went to the other gibralter cuz cindis a carnival whore and HAD to go.. she spent like 50 dollars there.. some of which went on games, that i played to win shit for her with, then i had to carry it all too? i got suckered what can i say... oh oh oh and we took those one photo booth pictures, with the four pose things on them..! I had a really good day for the most part, i hardly get to see cindi and i got to alllllllll day. it was cool, but i feel all gross now, there were like 251456465165 hot mexican dudes there, so yeah, i was in heaven, but i felt gross, and ugly or something, so i didnt "holla" at them, and now i regret it.
i cut the other night for no reason, if i would have known id be feeling like this today.. i would have just waited.
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[16 Apr 2005|12:28am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 blah |
] |
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music |
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tegan and sara |
] |
You cut yourself because you are constantly forced
to act like you are someone else. Chances
you're a Borderliner, maybe you're just afraid
of losing people. You try to be what your
friends and family want you to be, so they
won't leave you. And you look like it's the
real you, and you are very good at deceiving
people, but late at night, when you are all
alone, you take all the anger and frustration
out on yourself.
What Kind Of Cutter Are You? (~TrIgGeRiNg~ pics)
brought to you by Quizilla
Thats pretty much accruate?
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[14 Apr 2005|07:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 nauseated |
] |
The apple falls far from the tree
she's rotten and so beautiful
I'd like to keep her here with me
and tell her that she's beautiful
She takes the pills to fall asleep
and dreams that she's invisible
Tormented dreams, she stays awake
recalls when she was capable...
She's empty and so beautiful..
I'll keep her here with me.
♥
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| hoes hoe |
[09 Apr 2005|05:02pm] |
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mood |
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 sleepy |
] |
Alright so.. I was soposed to go to Gibralters today with Cindi.. but looks like thats not going to happen, oh well, im not worried about it.
.. hopefully my brother feels like doing something though cuz if not.. im just gunna go tanning.. come home watch tv, and go to bed. but either way i have to babysit tonight for my loves.. my leading little man got his first real haircut today!!!.. it looks SOOOOO cute.
Todays just blah.. but not much can bring my spirits down when their around <3 so in the end this day will end up being beautiful.
oxox
Brandi
oh and.. its Miss Jennas B-Day today.. Holla! ... AND.. I love you Jessica <3 !!
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[09 Apr 2005|01:55pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 cold |
] |
I'm thinkin about writing to Richard Ramirez.
Why?
Because I want to.
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| Bliss |
[22 Mar 2005|05:21pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 Blissful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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tons |
] |
I never knew what feeling bliss was like.
I know now.
I love epiphany's !
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[17 Mar 2005|10:29pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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aggravated |
] |
| [ |
music |
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big show theme |
] |
you know.. i really dont know why i bother.. i try to be good to everyone. i try to be sympathetic to what their lives are like and how their dealing with them.. but i guess its not good enough for some people.. why should i worry about people that fucking get pist at me for asking how they are? im always down on myself about everything and im always blaming myself for how things turn out with people.. and the thing is.. im not fucking doing it anymore, im GOING to be treated with some respect.. or people will just regret losing me later on. Im already over this whole craig thing.. which i never thought would happen.. im much more of a stronger person than i thought i was. if i can deal with losing him.. i can deal with losing ANYONE.
i think its about time for me to make totally new friends. preferibly guys.
and hang out with ones i miss and ones who want to see me..
I love you Clity Cake Cindi poo... im going to be calling you soon princess.. <3 i miss you
i cant wait to see Dan either (i love you dude).. and im lookin ULTRA forward to meeting Nikki *wink*
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[14 Mar 2005|09:40am] |
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Friends Only.
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neon_sex's journal
